Beware of the Bonk
On a bike your body is the engine that drives you over the hills. When your
engine runs out of gas, you “bonk.” This is that disagreeable sensation of being
unable to make another pedal stroke and not caring if you do. You basically
collapse on the side of the road. This is not a good thing and to be avoided at all
costs.
After careful research I have developed a multi-phase early warning system
for an impending bonk. At the beginning of a ride in a place like Tuscany
everything will look incredibly quaint and photogenic. You will find yourself
constantly stopping to snap photographs. As the day wears on things look less
quaint and you stop less often to take pictures. Soon things look down right
ordinary and you find yourself just staring down at the road oblivious to your
surroundings. This is the first sign that the tank is getting low, and it is time to
eat something.
The next warning sign is when you begin to notice mysterious squeaks and
clicking noises coming from your bike. No amount of fiddling with the gear
shifters seems to make any difference. It really gets bad when you find
yourself stopping to try to track down the annoying sound. These mysterious
noises will seem to go away if you eat something. So as soon as you notice that
irritating clicking noise, the quickest way to fix it is to eat.
The final sign of imminent bonk is when virtually everything bugs you. The
only car to pass you in the past half hour came by too close. The cows along the
side of the road stink. That shopkeeper this morning pretended not to
understand English and shorted you on your change. And that clicking noise is
driving you nuts! By this point things are no longer fun, and it’s time to stop,
take a break, and eat something. In 10 minutes the noise will be gone, the
cows will be wonderfully photogenic, and the people in shops will seem so
nice.
The key to getting the most enjoyment out of your bike tour is to eat. Don’t
worry about gaining weight; you will be burning it off with every pedal stroke.
This doesn’t mean stopping for a three course meal for lunch. You might start
hearing that clicking noise by mid-morning and be raving by lunch time. It
means taking food along with you to eat while you ride. It can be candy bars,
fruit, sandwiches, whatever you like. In Italy you will find that there are a lot
of exotic foods that you may never have tried. It is fun to nose around the
shops and try new things. It will also keep the pedaling fun.
Water
If food is the gas, then water is the oil for your engine. If you run out, the
engine will seize up. The summer months in Italy are warm and humid. You
can expect to sweat a lot while climbing all those Tuscan hills. It is vital to
carry enough water with you on the bike and to refill the bottles frequently.
Tap water is perfectly safe to drink in Italy. This means you can fill your
water bottles at any water faucet. You can walk into any café and hand over
your water bottles with hardly a word to get them refilled. If you want to go
high-end you can fill your water bottles with pricey mineral water. Just be sure
to order “acqua naturale.” This is the kind without the bubbles.
The water in fountains is also safe to drink unless it is marked “non
potabile” (not safe for drinking). In many towns and villages there will be a
fountain in the town square where you can fill water bottles. You will also
sometimes see people lined up on the side of the road holding empty jugs. They
are waiting their turn to fill up their bottles at a natural spring. These can be
elaborate affairs with fountains and troughs or just a spigot sticking out of a
rock. You should always keep your eye out for them and fill your water bottles
as the opportunity arises.
Carbo-loading Italian Style
Italy is of course famous for its cuisine. That is one of the prime reasons for
cycling there. You really have to be unlucky to have a bad meal anywhere
except in tourist traps. But Italian eating habits can nevertheless present a
challenge for the touring cyclist.
First, Italians don’t really eat breakfast. This meal seems to consist of a
cappuccino and a puff-pastry covered in powdered sugar. This isn’t going to get
you very far down the road before you start to notice that clicking noise. Hotels
that cater to foreign tourists will sometimes provide a more substantial
breakfast of juice, cereal, and sometimes even soft-boiled eggs. This is great
when you can get it, but you will pay a premium for it. The best option for a
cyclist is to hit a market the night before to stock up on real food. You can go
the cappuccino and puff-pastry route first thing in the morning then pull out
the good stuff when you find the scenery is starting to look dull.
Second, lunch is the really big meal of the day in Italy. Why? Because they
skipped breakfast. For the cyclist you can find yourself presented with a four
course menu and a nice Chianti that will leave you snoozing by the roadside.
That can make for a great day, but it does not get you very far down the road.
To avoid this predicament you need to avoid sit-down restaurants for lunch.
That means make your own lunch in the morning, buy something in a shop for
a picnic (my favorite), or try to find a cafe that sells reasonable-looking
“pannini” (sandwiches). For some sinister reason pizzerias are generally not
open for lunch except in tourist areas.
Lastly, there is dinner. This is why you came to Italy, so go wild! Carbo-
load to your heart’s content…because there may be no breakfast!
